Some people, well, a handful of very special people, value my opinion for the sixpence it is worth. About the big releases of the week, that is. It is for their benefit that I put finger on keyboard. Tonight. To write this here review of OSO. But first of all, one has to take an oath. To restrict, if not altogether avoid, using certain words and phrases. Which are: sixpack, abs, era, magic,tribute, Bollywood and picture abhi baaki hai, mere dost!

Take a bow, Farah Khan. Though at the outset, I must confess I find the film OSO only mildly interesting when put in the same canvas with Main Hoon Na. Call me biased, but as a director's first baby, MHN just blew me off my feet. In this, her second outing, Farah sticks to tributing Bollywoodana, which has sooo become her signature, but oversteps the spoofing bit in parts. Having said that, every Farah Khan film will be hers and hers only forever, because it's she who wears the pants and is the man in the house, for all the monkeying SRK can supply. OSO works. How well, will be put to debate, but as a reviewer, one's not ecstatic. It works in spite of SRK who's gotten so big he often spoofs himself on screen, and gets away with it, especially in K-Jo flicks.And here too. Watch the filmfare nominations and SRK's two films which are completely alike.

Well for those of you who are all praise, I can think of numerous positives which caused your song and dance :
The walk-in star parade was handled supremely. This number was very hard to live up to hype, and Farah passed muster. Attagirl! I know some people who still get dreamy eyed remembering the chemistry of Shahrukh and Kajol in K-Jo hits, and it's a treat for them too. Here, everybody's been given due footage and respect and every star seemed to be having fun blah- blah. As songs of this genre go, this one'll go right up there. Sajjid in Hey Babyy couldn't even come close.

More importantly, the first half leaves very little room for complaints. Manoj Kumar did complain, and we get his point. Like I said, the spoof overreaches in places. And sometimes chronology is sacrificed in favor of including all and sundry. Imagine Govinda commuting from Virar in the70's. But I'll accept that in the name of artistic license. And art it really has become, the way the period is recreated. Sabu Cyril, take a ceeteee.

If one looks at OSO from the strict and narrow angle of recreating, revisiting or remaking ( I'm sure that's NOT the word) the great seventies reincarnation formula movie KARZ with a generous bunch of digs, asides and jokes thrown in, one can't see much scope for betterment. But it is in Farah Khan's journey as the dream weaver, Bolly ishtyle, that one would miss a pilgrim's progress. Considering she's the chosen one, the torch- bearer who'll carry forth the legend, the inheritor of the Manmohan Desai angle, she seems to be stuck in the groove someplace, having too much fun on the way and losing sight of the objective. That's perhaps why the second half sucks a bit. Not because it is drab, but because Farah is in a wrap-up mood, and willing to let slip. So she can't rein in SRK's hamming in half two, alas! And what's so smart about yelling fish where fuck is intended? I'll bet this was Shahrukh's idea.
The Dard-e-Disco number's completely yuck, so is SRK trying to play some young stud like Hritik or John. For neither is he young nor a stud and the effort makes it all the uglier. The fun never leaves the set though, like, when he says, Qwali to main kar chuka hoon ab mere dard ko express karne ke liye ek...disco! you realize after leaving the theater that Farah and he were referring to MHN.
It must be that my eyes are going due to old age, but I couldn't see in Deepika Padukone what the world and Vijay Mallya must've seen. Judging purely by the sheer force of presence, women double her age, take Bips, take Vidya Balan, would any day steal a march over her. She showed great promise coupla years ago, when she was doing ramp and print. But her looks are a letdown here. That's my humble opinion. Now for histrionics. A born actor she's not, but I'll give her a coupla years to grow as one. I'll wait for a real performer to come along before I cast my vote for best female debut of this year.
Rest of cast. Kiron is superb. Shreyas seems to be heading towards a career of playing supporting actors. He does good. Arjun is bad. And of course Shahrukh is ugly. And the quick gun Murugan routine, done to death in early days Channel V, needn't have to be drooled over so much like most critics are doing.
I gave Om Shanti Om 6 in the beginning. Then I reckoned I was only watching it on a DVDrip and added 10% for a multiplex experience. So 6.5 it is. Final and non-negotiable.

I didn't know better. So I looked. And I found this place. Great for killing the better part of an afternoon. And some trivia.
Another place I went to maybe completely NSFW and all, but fun all the same.
And while passing, the page that Dhoomketu showed us returned two of my mugshots with slightly different tilt of the head and only a wee bit change in lighting with two completely different similarity reports. Exzibit(who?)-- 59% and the other, Beneccio Del Toro-- 63%. I'll try with other shots tonight and see which one Gets Antonio Banderas.

What was it that helped India beat the world at Twenty-20 and what is different now that the Aussies are toying with us? The point can be argued all night. Easier, a finger can be raised at Sachin Tendulkar. But a keen observer will notice a character on the field who we so often overlook. That's odd, considering his unique appearance and the absurdity of Ramesh Pawar as an international cricketer. Is he a joke of some sort his uncle, the venerable BCCI president has been playing on us all along? Talk about cruel jokes. And him, at the cost of R.P or Rohit Sharma, the two stars of last fortnight ? I better stop watching cricket again. Sorry Mahinder.
By the way, somebody sent this to me last week. Save the atrocity of language I found it funny. Especially the punchline.

Been to the Havelock Island lately. Now, you can read about the place here, here and here, but nothing you'll read can prepare you for the experience.
I wonder how many of you have watched the 2000 movie The Beach, which was expansively shot in the Koh-Phi-Phi island in Thailand. Ever since I watched that movie, I wanted to visit Koh-Phi-Phi. But then there came the 2004 Tsunami, and the island was all but destroyed. Petra Nemkova almost died at the island on that fateful boxing day.
Then again, you know, such exotic locations can be quite expensive. Me, I'm ever the broke. Some friends mentioned the Andamans and Havelock in particular as a potentially exotic but way cheaper option. I was sceptical to say the very least. Thus it happened that when I stepped out onto the Radhanagar Beach on a spectacular sunset I had to pinch myself and murmur a prayer.

But theosophy will have to wait. To put in perspective what that sunset really looked like, here,s a photo :

Get niceties out of the way
Every year, about 2,19,000 people come to The Andamans on vacation. 95% of them are Indian PSU employees ( the largest contributor, perhaps, is the steel authority). AVOID these tourists at all costs for they are the absolute dregs who will visit the islands only because it's about the only place they can fly to on leave travel, expenses paid. Thankfully they rarely go to Havelock and even if they do, it's on a day trip. AVOID Radhanagar beach between 11 AM to 2 PM because that's the day tripper slot.
I wouldn't mind leaving Port Blair early, as early as the second afternoon. The first evening was spent at cellular jail. It's okay, everybody does it. Another morning for Ross Island, a nice little place with dollops of history on the side. We took the afternoon boat to havelock curiously named MV Chouldhari. The kids seemed to find a lot of amusement in that name.(Actually the name's after a tribe of aborigines). One must always take the afternoon boat. Wiki calls it tourist special. Normally full of European tourists. These fellows prefer not to linger around Port Blair an extra hour. Smart blokes!

The Havelock certainly deserves a lavish film to be shot here. In beauty of landscape alone, it will rank right at the top of the heap of island gateways around the world. Like many other Indian destinations, what it lacks in is infrastructure. Thank GOD for that. Imagine planeloads of spoilt American tourists flying in from Phuket and junking this heaven. Phew! Not my words. This, from the poetic, almost effeminate Canadian gentleman who teaches English in Taichung, Taiwan and travels Asia on sabbaticals. We met him here.

The tent
Where will one put up at Havelock is one's own choosing. For choices, refer wiki. But as a shoestring affair, this place, the tents at Radhanagar, right smack at the middle of the action, takes the pudding. That of course, is my opinion. In the midst of a tropical rainforest, directly in front of the breakers rising a mere 100 meters away, and the beautiful beach in between. But words keep failing me. Here are more photos.
The red topped tent is your basic dwellings. The powder blue shack in the back is the attached(?) toilet. Surprisingly clean and usable, save the nuisance of sand, which is, well, everywhere. But we'll live.
The Bar To enliven the place and lure customers from nearby Barefoot jungle resort, ANIDCO had opened a magnificent bar in the neighborhood. Due to prohibitive prices or whatever reason, the bar didn't run and had to be closed down. The structure still stands. It's a thing of beauty made of log. The freezers well stocked even now, the parquet floor shining, the throw cushions strewn all over the place. Two full time employees sleep on the plush sofas in the afternoon. Their job it is to stop you to climb the stairs, to prevent you sitting atop, taking in the view and enjoying your own drink.
Yes , we tried. We took our Bacardi to havelock. From Port Blair. @ Rs.300 a bot. It might get dearer on the island. Below is the view one can take in from atop. Those sinful caretaker fellows! I'll never never forgive them.









The motorcycle diaries
We needed wheels. We took them on rent. @Rs.100 a day. Spurious petrol @Rs.50 a liter.And this is supposed to be subsidy territory.The traders profiteer.Petrol is always in short supply here. So far so good. But the fuel is frequently stolen. Beware. As a result, we ended up on the middle of a lonely road when darkness was falling and the engine died coughing. No sweat. Buses ply. Motorcycle stranded by the road. No cry. Nobody can take them away. Board the bus, listen to Dhoom2 on the onboard speakers and arrive at Radhanagar. Enjoy the fish grilled at Mashimaa's shack in the evening. Wash it down with bacardi in coconut water. See pic.

Boatspotting
Boatspotting is big at Havelock. The best time is early morning.
See pics.The first one reminds you of Harry Belafonte ( Come mister tally man and tally me banana).You could also spot many a bird dripping in suntan oil and carrying a suntan mat and scuba gear in tow if you got lucky, but then, I'm getting carried away. The accompanying photos were taken in the morning sun near a decrepit nullah near the the beach.

Travel some
You want to get around. Can do so hiking, biking and stuff. We stuck to our rented machines. It's but a small isle, 8 miles across. One can go Vijaynagar, near the Dolphin resort or Wild Orchid and several other shanties of all descriptions.Or to Govindnagar, to the jetty and the market. And look for lobsters. Hard to find. Find one can a glass bottomed boat custom made for coral viewing and fitted with a sturdy outboard engine. The corals can be viewed thus.
One thing must be said about network, though. Exactly at the moment we were viewing these corals, nearly a mile from shore, close to a small uninhabited isle, madly clicking away and secretly wondering if the glass at the bottom of the boat might not give at any moment, my wife's phone rang. Who else but mommy dearest? What followed was 15 minutes of running commentary. And we were roaming!

I'm kind of sleepy and it's getting to be late.
Tonight I won't post the extracts from my novella for which I'm in the market for a book deal.More of that later.
Tonight I'll just post some urls. All my favourites. They constitute about 20% of my net activity.
Rest is any body's guess. But I'm not going to advertise porn on this page.
http://www.lyrics007.com/ for al the song lyrics you'd ever want.
http://3mp3.ru/eng/ well, this is a treasure trove for free mp3
http://www.dpreview.com.This is must visit for all amateur and pro photographers and anyone looking to buy a digital camera. I've been, for quite some time. Pity I made a wrong choice and got me a handycam when I had the money.Saving for a real camera now. Handycams are for little girls. And video editing, a real pain.

Ciao and goodnight for tonight.

Hi!
Morning and I'm in a hurry. So I'll just post something I got somewhere. This you might enjoy. Tell me about it. And by the way, my manuscript seems to be somewhere in a locked folder on my hard disk. I'm still looking for it.

These are from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.

A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.

Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.

For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops.

For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat.

For nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

Liter: A nest of young puppies.

Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky.

Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.

The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.

To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male wears a condominium.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did long ago in wintertime.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Question on a recent science exam:
How can you change your mass without changing your weight?

My friend's answer:
Eat McDonalds while exercising.